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Lincoln Memorial University

Valentine’s Day is almost here, but in a letter sent on April Fools’ Day in 1838, Abraham Lincoln—born on this day in 1809—showed himself to be not much of a romantic. He declared that he would never marry “for this reason—I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.” He married Mary Todd four years later. Mary Owens, who may have been the woman maligned in the letter below, said of her suitor, “I thought Mr. Lincoln was deficient in those little links which make up the chain of woman’s happiness—at least it was so in my case.”

Valentine, c. 1880. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

1838 | Springfield, IL

Abraham Lincoln Loses the Girl

Without apologizing for being egotistical, I shall make the history of so much of my life as has elapsed since I saw you the subject of this letter. And, by the way, I now discover that in order to give a full and intelligible account of the things I have done and suffered since I saw you, I shall necessarily have to relate some that happened before.

It was, then, in the autumn of 1836 that a married lady of my acquaintance, and who was a great friend of mine, being about to pay a visit to her father and other relatives residing in Kentucky, proposed to me that on her return, she would bring a sister of hers with her, on condition that I would engage to become her brother-in-law with all convenient dispatch. I, of course, accepted the proposal, for you know I could not have done otherwise had I really been averse to it; but privately, between you and me, I was most confoundedly well pleased with the project. I had seen the said sister some three years before, thought her intelligent and agreeable, and saw no good objection to plodding life through hand in hand with her. Time passed on, the lady took her journey, and in due time returned, sister in company, sure enough. This astonished me a little, for it appeared to me that her coming so readily showed that she was a trifle too willing, but on reflection it occurred to me that she might have been prevailed on by her married sister to come, without anything concerning me ever having been mentioned to her, and so I concluded that if no other objection presented itself, I would consent to waive this. All this occurred to me on hearing of her arrival in the neighborhood—for, be it remembered, I had not yet seen her, except about three years previous, as above mentioned. In a few days we had an interview, and although I had seen her before, she did not look as my imagination had pictured her.

Valentine